If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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