I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I look better un-naked...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
So many bounce houses so little time
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She's the barista slut.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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