Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
