i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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