im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
