omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
