he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
