so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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