Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize