I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
