Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
