She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
