I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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