It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You are a genius and a whore.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
