I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
