This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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