I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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