I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I have fence marks all over my body
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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