it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
