She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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