dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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