I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
