so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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