If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize