it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
