I must be too annoying 4 u.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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