school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
