True but thats because hes a fetus.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I have tasted many bathrooms
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