normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Randomize
