btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
