im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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