the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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