THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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