Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
