Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
