Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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