I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
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