I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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