How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
