I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I pour the whiskey from now on
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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