never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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