If that was your dad, he is hot
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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