That's intense
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
