And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
