this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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