help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
