scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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