i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
