see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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