i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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