I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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