Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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