the new term for farting is butt boxing.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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