What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The adults are the big ones right?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
