I'm pants shitting drunk right now
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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