YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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