ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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