Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize