It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I am spending my child support on dildos
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
