this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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