Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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