i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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