Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
