You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
