So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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